I have never been so happy to see someone in my entire life.
The first week was uneventful. My mother-in-law stepped in to help out with the kids in the mornings (I work an early shift)...and the lovely neighbour girl dropped by every couple of nights, to play with Eva while I focussed on Miss Independence, who is rather (ahem) demanding. It was all fine.
Fine...until that beeyatch Mother Nature decided to a) pour freezing rain on the city, b) drop temperatures below freezing and c) take a fat white dump on the city.
It was about twenty centimetres (that's about 8 inches, Kulio)...followed by another ten centimetres, three days later. It doesn't sound like that much. But when you live in the middle of a large city, that's pretty much like dumping a cup of flour on an anthill. An anthill that has only two days before been coated in a layer of ice an inch thick. And then paying people to kinda push the snow around just enough to BLOCK YOUR FREAKING CAR COMPLETELY WITH A THREE FOOT WALL OF WHITE. And then dumping ANOTHER cup of flour.
I've already explained how much I love dressing children for winter (drug-free root canal). I've already explained how impossible Addie can be, when it comes to winter gear. Now multiply this by GIANT SNOWBANKS and GIANT BOOTS THAT WEIGH TEN POUNDS EACH and GIANT PARKAS THAT WEIGH A TON AND MAKE YOU HOT AND ITCHY and CHILDREN WHO HATE THE FEELING OF BEING CONFINED and CONSTANTLY SOAKED PANTLEGS and SLOWED TRAFFIC and OH MY LIST OF HATRED GOES ON AND ON AND ON.
And it only got better Saturday.
We got back from brunch at a friend's house and there was nowhere to park except in front of our house...which had temporarily been designated a NO PARKING ZONE because of snow removal. The signs say between 7am and 7pm. Which usually means the plows will show up the next day.
I drove around for about 20 minutes, looking for a place.
NOTHING. ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY NOTHING.
It was about 1pm. I looked both ways and saw no sign of incoming plows.
Normally the plows are preceded by a tow truck that blows its horn loud enough to rattle the windows (and wake the dead) for about ten minutes before the plow arrives. I figured the odds were that it wasn't going to come anyway...and even if it did, I'd have some warning (although it would suck donkey to the highest degree to have to shake the kids awake and race them to the car).
If I hadn't been alone, it would have been no problem. One of us would go in with the kids, while the other would find a safe parking spot.
No such luck when you're alone.
I decided to take my chances.
And lo and behold, luck was on my side. No tow trucks came.
The kids napped, they woke up, and I began to relax.
All that was left was to give them a nice little snack, and then we could quietly head on our way.
I had just strapped the grumpy Addie down and handed her the apple slices, when...
HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA
I have never seen Eva move so quickly in my life. Well, except perhaps for the time(s) when Addie shat in the tub with her. She moved pretty quickly then, too.
Addie didn't even have time to bellow her disapproval at seeing her snack dumped in the compost as I jammed her into her snowsuit, grabbed our stuff, and raced to the car. Remember that scene in Home Alone, where the family is racing through the airport? No? How about that scene in Indiana Jones where he's outrunning the giant ball? No? How about that beach scene in Chariots of Fire? That was pretty much us.
We managed to beat the tow truck. BARELY.
But it just reminded me...ONCE AGAIN...how much I appreciate my husband.
And how much I HATE WINTER.
He's back.
And more snow is on the way.
Mother Nature, we can take ya. BRING IT ON, BABY!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment