Sunrise, sunrise

This morning Addie woke up before 5 a.m.

We brought her into bed between us, rolled her up like a mummy in the sheets, and murmured "It's time to sleep" over and over in both of Canada's official languages.  Of course, she toyed with us a little...sucking her thumb, tugging her ear, and pretending to settle down...before leaping up and jamming a finger into an eye socket the moment we believed that she might actually go back to sleep. 

She was ALMOST THERE...drifting off peacefully...when Mother Nature (THAT WHORE) decided to unleash the thunderstorm to end all thunderstorms.  The claps of thunder were enough to wake the dead...and of course, Adele.

Finally, the storm settled down enough for me to drag the writhing little maggot out to the car... we drove into town and mercifully, found a coffee shop that opened before 7 a.m.  I didn't care if they were serving VARNISH in coffee cups...I was so happy to find a place that was open.

We settled into a seating area with armchairs...I eased back and relaxed while Adder wandered between the empty chairs (she officially started truly walking YESTERDAY!).    A few people sat down and talked with her a bit...she even convinced a young woman to give her half a muffin.

That Norah Jones song "Sunrise, sunrise" (probably not the real title) came on the radio...and I have to admit, I had a little moment.

Watching Adder stagger around smiling at everyone...sipping my coffee in small-town cafe on an early Thursday morning...my husband and big girl still sleeping back at the house...I just couldn't help thinking how these little moments are what make it all worthwhile.  How very lucky I am.  How life truly is beautiful.  

Then my sweet little girl came over to me...smiling...she reached up her little hands for me to take her into my lap...

AND THEN SHE 

VOMITED.

ALL. 

OVER.

ME.

My next child will be a geranium.

Wierdness

Etienne and his nephew went out to a movie last night, leaving me alone with the girls.  I put Adder down to sleep and went to read with Eva.

The house we are staying in is a large, comfortable family home in a woodsy area.  It has a deck in front and behind, and tons of windows everywhere.   We were sitting in the living room with windows open...the breeze blowing...cuddled up...my sweet girl in her soft little pyjamas, reading away as I nestle my face in her hair....

Then...from the deck (it seemed) came a MAN'S VOICE.  Low, deep, calm.  It said just a few words - unintelligible.  I almost wet my pants.

Although they had already been gone for about 45 minutes, I figured (hoped) that Etienne or Jean-Loup had forgotten something and had come back for it.  Went to the back door to check...no one.  Went to the front door...no one.

By this point, I'm more than a little nervous.

I pick up a tennis racket, take Eva by the hand, and we go through the house.  Three levels...tons of bedrooms and closets...tons of places for the REFORMED AXE MURDERER ON PAROLE to be hiding.  

Eva responds as she always does in an uncertain situation...well, how she responds in any situation...by TALKING NON-FREAKING-STOP.  "Why are we looking in the bedrooms?  Why are we looking in the closets?  Who talked?  Who's the man?  Why are you carrying the tennis racket? WHY WHY WHY WHAT WHAT WHAT????" 

Me (through clenched teeth), "Because we are searching for the man who is hiding in this house and who is going to wait until we sleep then come out and tie us up and rape us one by one and then kill us slowly with sharp implements from the chef-quality Henckel knife block in the kitchen..." (Have I mentioned how much I love the knife block?)

But it came out as "Oh no reason!!! It's fine!!!"

Finally we had checked every space possible...my heart was still pounding but there wasn't much else to do but go back to reading.  I figured it must have been a voice from the road that floated in on the breeze to SCARE THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME.

Slept like a log, nonetheless.

Then...this morning...even worse.

Folding laundry beside the bed when I stepped on something.

A SPIDER.

(keep in mind that my fear of arachnids has no bounds, although the little bastards seem to be DRAWN TO ME like moths to a flame and NO, I don't believe the damned philosophy of The Secret applies here)

I STEPPED ON A !&@#?$%%?! SPIDER.

Its long, skinny legs kept twitching and twitching...I noticed this because the spider's body was nowhere to be found on the floor...just a bunch of legs twitching independently on the floor...no body...where's the body ohnowhere'sthefreakingbody.........

.....oh here it is!!!    

STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT.  

JUST

SHOOT

ME

Disenfranchised voices and disenfranchised arachnid limbs.

Let me tell you the bloom is SLIGHTLY OFF the Eastern Townships rose.

Everything is satisfactual

Rolled out of bed this morning around 6 am...you understand this means that WE GOT TO SLEEP IN.  

And this being Eastern Townships, we drew back the curtains and sang merrily while bluebirds twittered on our windowsills and red-breasted robins puffed out their chests with pride while landing gently on our fingertips.  

All four of us pretty much rolled from bed right into the hot tub.  Bobbed around for about an hour...with me praying all the while that Adder's habit of pinching a loaf in the tub would not manifest itself - particularly while the high-powered massaging jets are on.  

Come on...how many posts did you THINK it would take before I mentioned bodily functions?

p.s. My girl held up and waited until she was out.  Eastern Townships truly are made for miracles.

Better

Farted around a bit and things look better.

Language is now my own.

There is a photo of the trolls.

We are even packed and ready to go.  I'm sure families have emigrated with less luggage.

Remember those photos from third world countries, where 50 people hang off a truck loaded 15 feet high with suitcases, sacks, and donkeys?

That'll be us at 8am tomorrow.  

Make sure you wave as we scream past!

Ready to throw this thing out the window.

So I started the blog tonight.

I should be packing to go on our little holiday to Eastern Townships.  Or at least scraping the fossilized Cheerios off the ceramic.  Instead I'm struggling to start a blog.  

I figured millions of people do it...how hard could it be?  All I want is a place to blather and show off photos of my offspring.

I tried to create a fancy profile, including lovely photo of trolls...and erased all the text.

Tried a second time and all you saw was a glimpse of Eva's thigh.  Not exactly the image I want to project in a blog about my children.

Tried a third time and again...no words.  

Oh yeah...and did I mention I can't switch the blasted thing over from FRENCH?

So screw it.

No photo for now.

No wit or wisdom either.

Of course, WHY SHOULD TODAY BE ANY DIFFERENT?