I don't remember any details beyond that, other than the fact that eventually, police found her and brought her back.
In the dream, I heard her crying as I raced out the door to rejoin her...and in my dream, I fell on a mat on the porch; wailing and so emotionally spent that I could not get up.
Then I woke up.
And so, instead of just standing in the doorway of their room and blowing kisses to each of my sleeping girls as I rushed out to work at 4 this morning, I actually entered the room to kiss them.
There are always two kisses each.
One for the heart, and one for the head.
And as I give them their kisses, I always mentally say, "Keep living, keep loving".
Always.
Anyway, with the adrenaline from my dream still making me a bit shaky...I went into the bedroom to give them their kisses. I just needed to touch my girls - to feel the warmth of their baby skin and touch their soft hair for a moment.
As I bent over to kiss Eva, she whispered quietly in the darkness, "Goodbye, Mama. I love you."
And I tell you with complete honesty...,if there is no reward beyond that in this journey of mine...
That will have been enough.
2 comments:
oh....chills this morning....I know that dream. It's so easy to forget, how one we are with them, and so startlingly painful and good to remember. Tears.
Oooh - that is beautiful!
I followed your blog from Ottava Battuta's - saw the headline "my wine turning to vinegar" and it intrigued me so I clicked.
Then I saw the name Adele - that's my daughter's name and it intrigued me so I read on....
So glad I did!
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