Friends forever...well, for now

I remember the first time a friend let me down.

Her name was Lori, and our parents were friends.
I went to her fifth birthday party - an event I still remember clearly to this day because it was my FIRST! PARTY! EVER! We played pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and ate hot dogs. I remember ordering mine WITH EVERYTHING EXCEPT ONIONS. I remember liking my shoes.

Anyway, Lori and I were friends for ages (well, a year or so) and this girl named Vanessa moved onto the block.
Vanessa was bigger, somehow...she was in the same grade as us but seemed much more mature.
Lori met Vanessa while my family was away for a few weeks...so by the time I got back, they were best friends.
And I was...out.

There were THREE WEEKS OF LIFE...THREE WEEKS OF SHARED HISTORY that I had completely missed.
An eternity of experiences, when you're six.

Suddenly Lori was no longer really interested in me. I'd call (I still remember her childhood phone number) and she'd say that she was going to Vanessa's house. And then she wouldn't invite me.

It broke my heart.
(Although I did a helluva lot better a year later when Vanessa's dad got transferred and they moved to Alberta)

ANYWAY...all this is to say that I know how Eva's best friend Romy felt today.

Eva went out this morning with Romy and her mum...they were gone a few hours and when they came back to our house, I opened the door to find a grinning Eva, a crying Romy, and a rolling-her-eyes-in-empathy-and-amusement Romy's mom.

Apparently, conversation in the car had swung to "best friends" and Eva had chosen that exact moment to drop the bomb that Romy was NO LONGER HER BEST FRIEND. Eva had suddenly replaced Romy with some kid from school.

Romy and Eva have been best friends for half their lives, so you can imagine how poor little Romy took the news.

Personally, I think it was just a little power-trip on Eva's part...she's known Romy forever and they absolutely adore one another.

But for a parent, it was really a bittersweet little moment.

I remember so well how Romy feels. Even though 30-odd years have gone by, I still remember the pain of that betrayal I felt when I was six.
That sort of pain stays with you - it's one of the few things that does, as we grow - and it shapes the way you approach all your friendships after that.

Things seem to be smoothed over now...they're downstairs playing and laughing as though an hour ago, Romy wasn't weeping bitterly for her little broken heart.

But this little incident really struck me.

There's no pain like the betrayal of a friend.
And no one feels pain as keenly as a small child.

I also know that eventually, it'll be my child's turn.