Let's get that kid to work

1.  Kept Eva home with me today.

I'm off work sick.  

Truth of the matter, I'm not actually SICK.   

I simply lost my voice.

But I talk for a living, and no voicey means no worky.

SO...with a lovely sunny winter day stretched out before me, I decided to keep Big Troll with me...to whisper our way through the day together.

And it was SO UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME.

While you're tied up chasing two trolls, sometimes you forget how awesome the big one is because she's acting like such a doofus trying to get attention, while you spend most of your time and energy keeping the little one from killing herself by backflipping off the piano.  

You know what I'm saying?

My big girlie and I hung out at a bookstore...sipped hot drinks in a cafe...played with stickers...then went to her fave restaurant for lunch.

And this is where my five-year-old proceeded to earn us a free lunch.

Eva's fave restaurant is a neighbourhood Salvadorean place.

Their specialty is the pupusa...a sort of pancake stuffed with chicken or cheese or beans or whatever you want.  You eat them drowning in a mildly spiced tomato sauce and smothered in spicy slaw.  Eva is mad for them.

(I should note here that Eva is a bit on the precocious side when it comes to eating.  One of her first words was tzatziki, and her favourite food is sushi.  On New Year's Eve, she slurped back fistfuls of raw oysters and cracked her way through a set of snow crab legs.  She can tear apart a lobster in five minutes, and when we go to the market, begs for quail eggs and artichokes).

Anyway, we order our meals and are chatting (well, she is...I'm listening) and then this guy who looks like the SPITTING IMAGE OF WAYNE NEWTON (post-plastic-surgery)  sits down at the table next to us.  

We nod in greeting and he proceeds to start talking with Eva.

Here in Montreal, every conversation with a stranger begins with the determination of common languages.  Most people speak French...some speak English as well...some speak Spanish or Italian or Arabic as well...and other languages kind of fall in after that.  Once you know what languages you share, you conduct your conversation accordingly.

Anyway, the guy started off by asking questions in English and French...then he and Eva moved to Spanish.  He was all impressed when she counted for him in Spanish and answered several questions for him.  He kept saying she was so cute (I agreed) and talking with her.  She obliged by chattering away in her non-stop stream-of-consciousness way.

Then, when I went to pay the bill...the waitress said that "it had been taken care of"

Wayne Newton then told us he was so impressed with Eva...and just thought it would be a nice thing to do for a nice little girl.

I HAVE GOT TO TAKE THAT KID OUT WITH ME MORE OFTEN.

AND TO NICER RESTAURANTS.

And remember all that crap I told her about not talking to strangers?

FUHGEDDABOUDIT!!!!!

Let's take this kid on the road!

2.  Adder shat on the floor last night.  At least she waited until she was out of the tub.  Just a single wee little turd on the floor of her bedroom, as her dad carried her from tub to change table.  

I almost wet my pants laughing.

Ah, my children are a talented lot.