Little old lady

Etienne went to a department store the other day, and was handed a couple of tiny trial-sized tubes of anti-aging moisturizer for men.

Me:  "So, did you try this anti-wrinkle cream yet?"

Etienne: "Not yet"

Eva:  "I tried it.  IT DIDN'T WORK"

While doing laundry...

...I came across a sippy cup that had been missing for a couple of days.

It was buried at the bottom of the laundry hamper in the girls' room, and I fished it out while loading their clothes into the washing machine.

Funny, I don't remember ever giving Addie a sippy cup full of cottage cheese...

DOH!

Bodily function night. Plus bacon!!!

1.    Addie did it again last night.

I don't know whether it's the warmth of the water...the joy of being with her sister...or the fact that she needs to make room for her recently-eaten supper.

SHE SHAT IN THE TUB.  AGAIN.

Of course, poor Eva was in there with her...and exploded out of the bath in a loud streak of disgust and horror.  

Etienne was out with a friend so I was on my own.   

And when you're on your own and dealing with two wet, poopy kids and a tub full of floaty toys and brown lumpy water, you don't really know where the hell to begin.

Ideally, I'd leave the girls standing there dripping while I scooped out the toys and turds, then fully washed out the tub.  But Addie never remains in one spot for more than 0.5 seconds anyway, so that doesn't work.

And as long as the tub was full of poop soup, there's no way to really clean them off, either.

I finally soaped up Addie while she stood on the bathmat, then just rinsed her under the tap.   I dried and dressed her, went back and drained the tub and started scooping out toys and dealing with the - ahem - lumps...when suddenly I heard a BANG and a wail.

Of course Adele had employed her brand-new skill (learned so recently I didn't even know she could do it) of climbing onto the bed alone...and then promptly rolled right off, whacking her head on the floor.  I raced back to hold her, while Eva kept up her litany of "I'm cold...can I get back in the tub?  I'm cold...can I get back in the tub?"

Argh.  But the bodily function story gets better.

2.  So the girls get cleaned up and go to bed and all is fine.  I go to bed early...and about an hour and a half later, Eva starts coughing.  She has a mild cold and coughs...and coughs...and coughs.  

Now, when she coughs a lot, Eva tends to vomit.   Especially at night.  Especially in her bed.  Especially just as we're drifting off to sleep.

OF COURSE, SHE WAS TRUE TO FORM.

All over her bed.  All over the duvet...neatly missing the bowl I had placed in her bed EXPRESSLY FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Etienne was home by this point and together we cleaned up Eva and her sheets and calmed her down and gave her water and so on.

  

Kids, please....for your tired Mama and Papa....tonight let's make a concerted effort to keep all solids and liquids WHERE THEY BELONG.

3.  I mentioned BACON.  This comes up because Eva's sweetheart of a little friend Emie came over last night and stayed for supper.   Emie's family is Muslim, so they don't eat anything that comes from a pig.

Anyway, Emie was explaining this to Eva.

Emie:  "So I don't eat pork or bacon or dragon"

Eva (with an audible snap of her neck as she looks up from her drawing):  "NO BACON???"

Emie:  "Nope, no bacon...and (clearly trying to get a rise out of Eva) NO DRAGON"

Eva (loudly, clearly shocked): "YOU CAN'T EAT BACON???"  

(A pause, then even louder)  "NO BACON???"

So...apparently eating DRAGON is perfectly fine by my kid.

Pundit

We've often talked about politics at the supper table...but we didn't realize how deeply it was actually sinking in until tonight.

  

I have to admit, my little girlie's knack for names made me pretty proud.

Etienne:  "I can't believe that in ONE WEEK it'll be the U.S. Presidential election."

Me (to Eva):  "Who's going to win the presidential election?"

Eva:  "Stephen Harper?" 

Adele: (laughs out loud from her highchair)

Me:  "No...I think you might remember his name.  The other guy.  For PRESIDENT"

Eva:  "Barack Obama!!!"

Yummy, yummy crap

We don't buy sugary cereals for our kids.

Before you start thinking I'm ONE OF THOSE...let me state for the record that we are not those over-the-top parents who send their kids out with "SUGAR-FREE" emblazoned on their t-shirts, whose children eat sugar so rarely they get hyperactive after eating a prune.   Mine do get gum and candy and all that jazz.

HOWEVER...when it comes to the main meals of the day, we're fairly rigid on their nutrition content. 

Now, Eva is used to having sugary cereals while at her grandparents' house.  My mum and dad have made a lovely tradition of having a minivan-sized box of Froot Loops in their cereal cabinet for whenever the grandkids sleep over.   And you can usually find a similarly-sized box of Frosted Flakes at Etienne's parents' place.   It's one of those awesome things you remember about staying at your grandparents' house.  

But while Eva is used to having those cereals at her grandparents', she's not used to having them IN HER OWN HOME.

Today, her grandmama rocked that boat BUT GOOD.

This afternoon, they went out for a walk and wound up stopping at a grocery store where Eva asked for - and got - the Grand-daddy of all crap cereals.   Pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, blue diamonds...all made of synthetic neon marshmallowy fluffy hexametaphosphate (I kid you not, it's ON THE BOX).  

You guessed it:  LUCKY CHARMS.  

And these are not just regular Lucky Charms.

These are CHOCOLATE LUCKY CHARMS.

Eva couldn't believe her luck.  COULD. NOT. BELIEVE. IT.

CHOCOLATE LUCKY CHARMS.  IN MY HOUSE.

Tonight she gently took out the box of Chocolate Lucky Charms and carefully placed it on the counter.   Then she lovingly traced her index finger over the brightly-coloured rainbow, dotted with big hunks of artifically flavoured marshmallows, swirling about over that insufferable leprechaun's head.

Then she slowly and softly exhaled one word...

 "CALORIES!"

Bye bye, Mathilde

The first week of school, we heard the name "Mathilde" often.

She seemed like a nice little girl...Eva seemed to adore her and they played together often at school.  There was talk of play dates and sleepovers.

Then suddenly...things changed.

The planets shifted...the clouds churned...and suddenly, the name "Mathilde" was replaced by the name "Nadine".

All this was fine with us, as long as Eva was happy.

But the other night, Eva filled me in as to what happened to her great friendship with Mathilde.

"I was playing with Mathilde and it was fun.  But this other girl named NADINE comes along.  I didn't know her.  I only knew that there was this nice girl named Mathilde.  And we played.  But Nadine came and Mathilde didn't like her as much as me.  So one day they fought and Nadine had my arm and Mathilde had my other arm and they pulled and pulled and I was like, 'whoa this is ME' and finally they let go."

Me:  "And then what happened?"

Eva:  "Then they said I had to decide who was my BEST BEST BEST FRIEND"

Me:  "Wow...that's a tough decision... how did you do that?"

Eva:  "Well.......actually........I DID EENIE MEENIE MINEY MO".

Me: "And that's how you decided who your best friend forever would be?"

Eva:  "Yup!"

OOOOOOOOOH life is cruel when you're five...

This makes me want to wake her up...

...just so I can hug her for being so cute it makes my heart hurt.

Why do children fight sleep to the point of passing out SITTING UP???

Silly wee troll...SLEEP IS AWESOME!!!