I started the process about an hour and a half ago, armed with a brand-new box of plastic childproof latches, a hammer, measuring tape, a bunch of screws, and a screwdriver.
I was optimistic...buoyed by the hope that we would finally be able to thwart our little Houdini before she slices off another finger or downs any more uncooked lentils.
I quit the entire blasted affair about five minutes ago, sweating wet, throwing the tools down in disgust and humiliation.
The result of my efforts...a single blasted plastic latch installed backwards in a spot that makes it impossible for the second part of the latch (the one attached to the drawer) to close.
WHY THE %&%?$!!! DOES IT TAKE A FREAKING ENGINEERING DEGREE AND THREE FREAKING HOURS TO INSTALL A SINGLE FREAKING CHILDPROOF LATCH ON A SINGLE FREAKING DRAWER?????
Etienne has kindly taken over.
He, too, is swearing.
But he is smarter and less of a quitter than his wife.
In fact, as I write this, he has just completed the latch.
AND THE $%$?#&!!! THING WORKS.
So, Addie, our dear little maggot...your parents might be battered and bruised in their efforts to protect you...
BUT YOU ARE NOT. OPENING. THAT. DRAWER.
1 comment:
hahahahaa....!
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